What Dreams May Come 2

December 14, 2009 at 10:38 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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My subconscious has a quirky way of making itself heard right before my biggest life changes. I had this doosy of a dream before I went back to work after maternity leave. Then last night I dreamt I was being courted by a high-profile publishing company. I went to several interviews, passing through their snazzy, glass-enclosed lobby downtown. I don’t remember all of the details, but I remember thinking this was the place to work. They called to tell me I had the job, and suddenly I had to rearrange all of my plans. I called Alice to tell her we’d be needing her nanny services afterall. And with the amazing salary I would be making, we could afford to have her all to ourselves. She was so excited. I was so excited.

And then I woke up.

I shook what remained of my realistic dream from my mind, reminding myself that there was no job, only that of mommy. With uncertain job prospects, the choice to stay home was a fairly easy one. But this dream has me thinking…perhaps I wouldn’t have chosen this path had a better job opportunity presented itself. Or perhaps it just means I’m not ready to resign myself to permanent unemployment. I truly am looking forward to staying home with Liam, through the good times and bad. But when asked what I do, I wonder at what point will I stop answering “graphic design” and start saying “full-time mom”? Are they mutually exclusive? I think because I have the opportunity to freelance, I’m in a unique position to answer both ways. And maybe, just maybe, that dream job is still in my future.

Tonight I spoke with Karen, Cam’s mom, and she said her husband accepted a job in California. They won’t be moving for awhile — in the spring sometime — but that does mean that Alice will have to look for another job, and Liam won’t get to play with Cam anymore. I had this daydream when I first started this nanny share that the boys would grow up together. And if they didn’t, it would be because we moved away. Funny how after all this time, all of these changes, I still try to imagine my future. I hope we can all keep in touch. At the very least I plan to get together with Alice and Cam once a week until they move. Enjoy the time while I can. That’s all we can do, really.

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  1. They’re not mutually exclusive! You can be mommy and whatever else you want! You can dare to dream! Of course, I’m sure what have all that much time, and what time you do have will be snuck in between nap times until you learn that you can do something else while Liam plays. I’m sure it’ll take some getting used to it before you find balance. Just know that you’ll always be mommy, and should you ever want it, working girl. You’re in a lucky position to be able to do this, and hope it is very fulfilling for you. Enjoy it will you can. I’ve heard they grow up fast. 🙂


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