The storm before the calm

March 8, 2011 at 3:46 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

You know those moms you see at the mall or in a restaurant, their kid is kicking and wailing on the floor, and they just have this look on their face…that look of defeat? I always pitied those moms. And I hate to say I judged them, too. Not so much in a can’t-you-control-your-child kind of way, but more in a why-are-you-even-taking-them-out-here kind of why.

But now…oh now. I am that mom.

Every morning we get up, eat breakfast, watch cartoons, take a shower, get dressed. Sprinkled throughout with screaming fits, time outs, and much shouting. By 10 AM I’m ready for something else. A trip to the store. A play date. Anything but sitting at home entertaining this increasingly temperamental child. And while I know there’s a good chance of public humiliation, I’m confident I’ll get 30 minutes of peace in the car, or an hour’s peace on the train. And with any luck when we arrive back home he’ll be ready for a nap.

Blessed nap.

There was this blissful moment not long ago when I was reflecting on how happy I was, how great it was that I got the opportunity to stay at home with my child AND do some graphic design in the downtime. I was even thinking let’s add another child to this equation. Why not!?

But now…oh now. I am exhausted.

There is one silver lining to this abysmal chaos I find myself in. A year ago my sister, whose daughter is a year older than Liam, couldn’t fathom having a second child. I figured it was because Evie was such a handful, but I’m realizing that even the easiest of infants can turn into a nightmare at two. And Liam was only really medium-easy. But this year something changed for her. Evie changed. And now she’s having her second baby in June.

So maybe, just maybe, things will change for us, too. Losing my freelance work will certainly help some. And already I’m finding I can bargain for good behavior with stickers and treats. Sometimes. I’m hoping by this summer my little monster will be my little buddy again.

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1 Comment »

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  1. I don’t know how you do it. If it wasn’t for day-care I would be a complete train wreck. I can barely handle 2 days on the weekend…during the winter when day-care would close I would panic. For your own sanity find a half-day preschool program. Don’t focus on finding the best, brightest most expensive one just FIND ONE that is reasonable so that you can get some down time. You can pick up the extra education stuff at home.

    The Mom’s of older children were joking at my ‘hood book club that most of their parenting comes down to 1) bribery, 2) idle threats, and 3) out-right lies. It’s hard to bargain, threat or lie to someone who doesn’t even call me Mama yet, but I’m sure I’ll be on the cusp of this trifecta soon!

    As to kid #2. I’ve had many people tell me to keep the level of misery high. You can go through the terrible twos again in a few years from now…or 5+ years from now… I’m hoping that 5 years from now I’ll be done and ‘in the clear’. Just suck it up and go with it. Maybe Liam will settle down when he has someone to show-off for.


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